Wednesday At The Whacky Shack

Martha Ocak 15, 2022

Ever heard that phrase? It’s old slang for an insane asylum, as venerable as “nut hatch,” “loony bin,” or “funny farm” – and at one time just as commonplace. I like them all, as I have a fondness for archaisms. That you haven’t heard them lately should remind us of the vicious bowdlerization of our language the SJWs and PC enforcers have achieved.

Anyway, here’s some entertainment for your April Fool’s Day morning. All of it has been most carefully fact-checked, cross-correlated, and assured of conformance to Liberty’s Torch’s rigorous standards for truth, justice, and diversionary value.

0. Of Little Or No Interest.

Liberty’s Torch’s traffic numbers are way up, which is gratifying but also puzzling. We haven’t blazed any new trails recently. Neither have I discovered a treasure trove of gags so old they’ll sound new to anyone who hasn’t yet begun collecting Social Security. I suppose it could be because not every one of our emissions is about the Kung Flu / Lung Pao Sicken / Chi-Com Crud, but there’s really no way to know.

At any rate, to all the newcomers to our blather: Welcome to the only completely meshugganeh site on the Web. I hope you’re enjoying your visit. We’ll be here for the duration of the crisis and long afterward. (Try the veal.)

1. At Long Last.

A beloved colleague is finally getting the attention he deserves:

     Longtime hangarounds at this here hogwallow will be quite familiar already with our friend TL Davis, whose work I’ve linked to and excerpted many times over the years. What y’all might not be aware of is that, in addition to being an accomplished blogger and novelist (I’ve recommended his novels before here, especially the great Shadow Soldier saga), TL is also a screenwriter. As it happens, in the course of a discussion of his next film project with him, TL proposed doing a documentary on my old band. So we’re off and running with that project now, kicking things off thusly:
     With our first documentary Lies of Omission finally making its way to Amazon (not quite yet released) and other streaming services, we are encouraged to take the next step in filming a more mainstream documentary about the Belmont Playboys. How this rockabilly band came to our attention is a story in itself, but suffice it to say that we had other interests in common and the revelation of their talent and resiliency as a top performing band was indeed a pleasant surprise.
     From the rural North Carolina countryside, the Belmont Playboys quickly created a sound and an energy that captured the attention of a New York Times music reviewer by the name of Kathy Schoemer in 1989 as the band played the old Delta 88 club in New York City. From that moment on they were able to build a career out of doing what they loved.

Mike Hendrix’s Cold Fury goes almost all the way back to the inception of Blogdom. His band, the Belmont Playboys, goes back further still. It’s good to see him getting some appreciation at long last, especially given the many travails he’s had to endure these past twenty-five years.

2. Priorities.

Seattle has so many rampant public-spaces problems that it’s unimaginable that its law enforcers should have time or energy for anything else...but lo! What light through yonder window breaks?

Seattle's top cop may want to get her priorities straightened out. In the midst of the global COVID-19 pandemic, Police Chief Carmen Best used her most recent "chief's brief" update on the coronavirus crisis to urge residents to dial 911 if they are the victims of racist name-calling....
"We will document and investigate every reported hate crime," Best continued. "Even racist name-calling should be reported to police. If you aren't sure if a hate crime occurred, call 911. We are here to help."

Help with what? With the suppression of Constitutionally protected rights? Was the First Amendment repealed or modified while we weren’t looking?

Here’s Police Chief Best:

Draw your own conclusions.

3. Rulers Gotta Rule.

It would be a mistake to imagine that the petty people whose lives are so empty that they must make careers out of micromanaging our lives would give us a break during trying times:

     A few Los Angeles restaurants struggling to maintain footing amid the COVID-19 outbreak identified a clever way to generate revenue while still serving the community: Start selling groceries.
     The city's public health department promptly shut them down. The reason? The small businesses don't have a "grocery permit."
     "It's not really possible for a restaurant to become a grocery store," Dr. Barbara Ferrer, director of Los Angeles County Public Health, said in a briefing yesterday. "You cannot just decide you want to sell groceries."

I seem to recall another story about small-minded bureaucrats destroying something wholesome and charitable. That’s what these bureaucrats do. They have no lives without their little bit of authority. As for doing something about real threats to public health, such as Los Angeles’ immense population of homeless and its shit-festooned streets...I suppose that would be too much like actual work.

Can you say anarcho-tyranny, Gentle Reader? I knew you could!

4. Mustn’t Say “God” Where Others Might Hear!

I admire anyone who can rise above his difficulties – and the worse the difficulties, the greater my admiration. Mike Lindell of MyPillow is one such person, and he’s unabashed about giving credit where he feels it’s due:

Lindell, who just announced his company will produce 50,000 masks a day by the end of the week, was mocked for sharing his faith from behind the lectern, and encouraging Americans to turn to God in this time of crisis.
“God gave us grace on November 8, 2016 to change the course we were on,” Lindell said. “God had been taken out of our schools and lives, a nation had turned its back on God. I encourage you to use this time at home to get back in the Word. Read our Bibles and spend time with our families.”

For daring to exhort others to such simple acts of faith, Lindell has been savagely molested throughout the media. Read the linked article for the details, as I’m too disgusted by them to reproduce them here. (Remember: these people are puzzled about the public’s lack of trust in them.)

I’m old enough to remember the pro-worship public-service pitches that once appeared on television and could be heard on the radio. "Go to the church of your choice" "The Family That Prays Together Stays Together." And does anyone else remember Archbishop Fulton Sheen's TV show "Life is Worth Living" -- in its day the most popular program on the airwaves?

Families were more stable. Crime was far lower. Our public spaces were peaceful and orderly. And governments were far less intrusive.

I know, I know: Correlation is not causation. But shouldn't we be thinking about this at least a little?

5. A Liberty’s Torch First.

While this is not a news site in the strict sense, we do report on interesting developments now and then. We try to cite primary sources, when they’re available. However, as our primary aim is to analyze and comment on the news, we don’t always perform long-term follow-ups on such developments.

This morning the site email address received a unique “request:”

Please remove article concerning myself Samantha Werkheiser from your blog. My appeal has been won, conviction reversed, and I have no felony history. Articles such as yours are hurting my ability to rebuild my life. If you have any questions, I will put you in touch with my Manhattan Attorney.
Respectfully,
Samantha Werkheiser
Sent from my iPhone

Note that the email does not contain a URL to the article in question. Here it is:

     Homosexuals have made a habit of defining themselves by their sexual preferences. They’ve made those preferences the center of their lives. They’ve trumpeted them at the normal majority in a blatant display of disdain for and triumph over millennia of social norms. Given that, should this really surprise anyone?
     Julie Kay Werkheiser and Samantha Stone were both dance teachers in upstate New York. Werkheiser owned Studio J Dance in Waverly, about 40 miles from Binghamton, where Stone owned Creative Dance Elements. At some point, Stone divorced her husband and is now Samantha Werkheiser. And both of them have been convicted of molesting children. In February 2016, Julie Werkheiser was sentenced to 11 years to life in state prison after a jury convicted her of felony predatory sexual assault against a child. Police said that between July 2006 and November 2007 she abused two dance students, who were 6 and 8 at the time. Last week, a judge sentenced her wife, the former Samantha Stone, to 15 years in prison for first-degree course of sexual conduct against a child.

     Lesbian Dance teachers were teaching their students Lesbian Dance. At least we got truth in labeling...of a sort.

Miss Werkheiser is correct that her conviction was overturned:

     Two years into her prison sentence for sexually abusing a child, a Binghamton woman's conviction was tossed out Thursday by a New York State appeals court.
     Samantha Werkheiser (she's also known as Samantha Stone) had been sentenced to 15 years behind bars in March 2017, after the 39-year-old former dance instructor's second trial ended with a Broome County Court judge's guilty verdict in the sexual abuse of a girl when she was 6 years old.
     On Thursday, a mid-level appeals court dismissed the indictment against Werkheiser based on a technical error in how the charge she faced in the retrial — a felony count of first-degree course of sexual conduct against a child — was pursued in court.
     When Werkheiser's first conviction was overturned, it was determined she couldn't be prosecuted for the original higher-level felony of predatory sexual assault against a child, because that charge was put on New York State's law books after her alleged criminal conduct.
     Instead, she stood trial for a lesser included charge, course of sexual conduct against a child. On Thursday, the appeals court said the prosecution should have filed a reduced indictment against her after the charge was reduced, but never did.

Liberty’s Torch will not remove the original article. Rather, we are happy to cite both the original article and the subsequent one that details the technical, non-evidentiary reason Miss Werkheiser’s conviction was overturned. Thank you, Miss Werkheiser, for bringing this to our attention.

6. Another Injustice That Demands Correction!

Yes, two in a row. And this one is part of an insidious pattern:

LIKE THE UN, THE WHO IS ABOUT AS HELPFUL TO US AS AN ACCORDION IN A BATTLE FIELD: We Can Fight Pandemics Without The Communist-Allied World Health Organization.

Enough of this! The relentless slander of the military utility of the indispensable accordion must cease! Field armies throughout history have known the devastating power of the accordion in warfare. The deployment of a series of polkas at sufficiently high volumes can utterly demoralize an enemy force...or failing that, set it to dancing. Has there been a field army anywhere that has prevailed without its Accordion Corps? Would you have us go back to those damnable bagpipes?

Sheesh! Next they’ll be questioning why the NATO Alliance includes France!

That’s all for today, Gentle Reader. The lawn must be mowed, there’s a novel in progress to be addressed, and I have other duties as well. Stay warm, stay dry, and stay safe.